Upon further thought and prayer about other day's revelation concerning Josie's Tribute, I have concluded there is nothing of significance that needs to changed, nor anything I should feel contrite about. Perhaps, it is just a misunderstanding of what I'm trying to accomplish here.
I am truly a man who has never rode the fine line of convention; my make-up, which
includes my disorders, have always put me outside the normal playing field. I used to
dread this, because I was consistently forced outside the box by others, usually guys, who considered themselves "normal".
Now, after many years have past, I know better. There is no "normal". My differences, my idiosyncrasies, my talents, and my gifts, are what makes me special in God's eyes. I no longer rely on what I believe the world thinks of me; rather, I try to live that is faithful to Christ. Any sense of guilt that others try to put in front of me, or unwarranted guilt that I might lay down on myself (which used to be far too often me) is of no spiritual use to me. Instead, I try to critically think through the haze of misunderstanding, and try to make sense of the meaning of things. I know I am not, by any means, the typical guy, who thinks somewhat superficially; I am a man of emotions, and I have always lived them fully, but it has only been with the help of the Lord that I have learned to use this trait wisely - as much as He leads me to do. Of course, I make mistakes - I am not perfect, and never claimed to me, but I do know what such loving friend is truly worth, and how I feel when they are taken away. And I know the value of such a friendship, and do know how to properly honor them, no matter what other's think my intentions are, because I know I'm right on this. I find no transgression, no slight here, just love and caring for a friend and her family, as well as others that the Lord might be lead to read this Tribute.
I do see the mistake in using Facebook now; I have taken that page down; but it's
intention was only as a tool, as a means to reach others. I did not really understand that
others might be confused as to it meaning. I don't see that same issue with Twitter; it simply would be a broadcast of spiritual ideas and announcements, and not focused on a person's name. I will try that eventually, and I'm sure if someone has an issue with that, along with a valid reason, they'll let me know. I am very much open to that.
I have also decided to review the Tribute pages for any possible confusing
misconception that others might have for it, and will make the appropriate changes. I
know I do get a bit carried away with my art when I am experiencing heavy emotions;
this was no exception. But it would not have been true to me if it was otherwise. However, I will see if I need to tone it down a little, but I do not make any
apologies as to it's intention or scope - for doing so would fail Christ. I just believe the time I spent was just a small measure of the wealth Josie gave me during those years, and I feel it honors her memory in a way she and the Lord would have wanted.
After several attempts to contact the family members of Josie so I can give my condolences and inform them of the site, these attempts have strangely yielded nothing. I realize that my concerns can yield no healthy purpose.
I have come to the conclusion that I am concerned about contacting them way too
much; it would be unkind to pursue this any further, on the off-chance that the family may not be ready to move forward in this way. Nerves might still be quite raw, and I wouldn't want to somehow upset them in some unintended way. I remember when I had lost my brother, I craved for a strong control in my life (and everything around me) for a while, so that time could be more tolerable. It would be prudent to let God work on these folks in His way, and I'll just pray for them.
Though we may try in vain to run our own lives, it is in understanding that there is one
simple truth that hangs like a banner over every man and woman; that the comfort in
knowing that the Lord is in control is what allows us to finally surrender to this truth,
and with this understanding comes healing to a soul's ache. It was only after I realized
this that I was able to bear a fuller measure of the the fruits of His blessings, and later be able to pass them to those in need.
One thing is for certain, there is no future christian saint who has passed away that
yearns for any measure of pain in the lives of their loved ones left to finish their time on
earth separated from them. They only want for them a legacy of their love to remain with them, and a fuller understanding of the Hope and Joy God has for them. In the end, does anything else really matter? In was because of this that I have decided to honor both my friend Josie and the Lord with this site, to remind folks (including me when I'm feeling low) of God's tremendous Power and Grace to overcome adversity, and to live for Him. A revelation of such an understanding can be just the beginning of the precious gifts a loved one has left stored for us in our memory, later to be revealed; precious gifts that truly have the potential of buoying us at unexpected times and ways, to sooth us until we pass into the next life to meet them.
As for me, I do not want to be distracted from this site's focus. The incidentals of missing biographical details of Josie's history can always be added later; they are not of any great significance; I really don't want to let my "O-C" behaviors which thrives on the perfection in detail get the best of me. The focus should always be how God works through people to His Glory, and this is what I aim to achieve...
Thank you Lord, for a fuller understanding.
Praise God! To my joy, the site has yielded it's first crop of Born-Again folks for Christ. I have begun to post a Salvation Roll Call to keep track of God's great work.
Reviewing site once again to catch any errors, and also to make sure it will stand as a good work for Christ. Excited about the results so far. Ready to go live on the web this week, just before Easter.
I have completed a tribute art piece for the site, and suddenly it came upon me that it might also serve a way to encourage those who wish to give donations for a Cancer Illness fund, for those who are ill with the disease, as well as their families in the future. I have added that element to the site - let's see what God brings.
Upon reviewing my time with Josie, I began to ask myself: "What would Josie have wanted to be included in this tribute? I prayed about it, and concluded that Josie would not have be in favor of it, unless it could bring others closer to Christ.
So, I began to put together a series of short biblical studies to include in the memorial, to both honor the legacy of Jesus Christ, and His humble servant, Josie.
After prayer, the Lord has led me to this Christian tribute site alone (actually a collection of sites that is operated under the same administration), and I have decided it would be perfect for sharing Josie's life with others.
In keeping with praising God for Josie's life, I have resumed my attempts to contact family and letting them know of the site. This is my second set of attempts; the first was to give my condolences. As of this date, my attempts appear to have unfortunately failed; I just don't have the current information for these folks.
Also, I have concluded that I am not spending enough time creating this site; I will try to be a little more diligent towards it's completion.
After praying for how I should honor Josie's life; I have come upon a christian tribute site that is interesting. I will continue to pray that God will work through me in the creation of a proper tribute to Josie, for her and her family, as well as those who visit.
